So, I'm the sentimental type. And this one is for all those beautiful class of 2014 members that are leaving me to rot in high school for another year... thanks guys... (don't worry, just a joke). What I'm really writing this post for is to say thank you to the people a year older for being there for me. We've had our laughs, but also our hard moments. This is one of those hard moments, one of those exciting moments where everything is going to change, but it'll be amazing for you all.
To every single now-Freshman in college that has impacted my life: have an unforgettable journey these next four years... I know you will. You've made me laugh, sing, and try to new things. I am so incredibly grateful for those memories. I can't wait to see all that you guys accomplish and I only wish that I could be standing in the shoes next to you.
The past few days, everyone has been trickling away to different schools in different places and it's really starting to dawn on me. Now, the class of 2015 is next. Now, I'm a Senior... I'm where you all were beginning just a year ago. Before I know it, I'll be a college kid too. It's such a scary thought... I can't fully wrap my head around how everything is changing every day, all the time.
As a Junior I looked up to my Senior friends... and now the Juniors will be looking up to me. So with that being said, I hope I shine like I saw my friends shine. When I get that first acceptance letter, I'll know I made it. One step closer to greatness. One step closer to my future.
And that's what the Seniors taught me. They gave me hope that one day I would be someone. I'll never forget two things I was told by two Seniors.
1) "You're going to look up one night and see yourself among the stars."
2) "You're not going to just be the typical person that has a 9 to 5."
But it was all the hugs, the words of wisdom, the helping hands that I was granted with that made the class of 2014 special. I met so many truly special people and I would re-live Junior year again just to spend time with them.
There's so many specific people to mention, but even though it's only been a few short months of spending time with Martissa, I know that we will always keep in touch. I'll miss her smile in the hallway and the genuine, real conversations we had. I'll miss my ring buddy Andrea who I saw every morning in homeroom. I'll also miss those Seniors who I went on Kairos (a retreat) with (you guys know who you are). You made my year worth while, and even though we only spent a short weekend together, you all probably know me better than most people. And then to the Seniors who have came into my life, and then out. Even though we don't talk anymore, you still matter to me because you changed me for the better. And then I'll miss all my amazing co-workers who are going away, especially De'Kael. I'll be visiting you in Chicago; don't worry!
So that's it. I love you all. Thank you for making me feel like I belonged somewhere.
Yesterday I had the best time in Downtown Detroit with Martissa! We found the cutest community garden (which also had the best light we could find for photos). We also found some pretty cool graffiti, and got to take a nice walk by the riverfront!
After we went to Zumba! If you've never tried it, I totally suggest going to a class. It's fun, but it's also an amazing workout. I felt great (a little sweaty) but very energized and happy after.
I haven't been too fashionable lately and I feel bad about this. One reason I feel bad is because I've been lacking creativity with these blog post and questioning the direction my blog is going. The second being I have literally felt bad, as in, felt sick over the fact that I haven't put effort into my appearance for the last 2-3 days. I'm one of those people that feels better with a little bit of retail therapy or even just playing some big girl dress up. For some reason I just haven't had the motivation, but I will very soon, and then I'll have some better posts for you, don't worry.
But on my lazy days I've spent a ton of time on Pinterest. I decided to look through my style board. I came across so many girly, pink looks that I just love. Now all I want to do is go shopping for this stuff!
I love this. So much. The see-through top with a fun bandeau bra really makes this outfit pop.
You have no idea how badly I want a tulle skirt. This outfit is the definition of ballerina, girly, frilly style. It's perfection.
I think this outfit is girly, but punk at the same time. If you ask me, this outfit is killer.
So today I finally did it: I completed my goal to make macarons sometime this summer. The first batch looked like sad little puddles of meringue. But luckily, I added a little more powdered sugar to the second batch and the rest turned out (almost) perfect.
These treats are not easy to make! It was well worth it though because they taste pretty dang good and I got some great pictures of them.
If you want to try making them yourself check out this recipe. But for my macarons I didn't use the standard buttercream recipe (mostly because I'm lazy). Instead I just put raspberry jam in the center. Personally I like them better this ways because I don't have a tooth for really sweet foods.
Now take a look at my little masterpieces:
Looks good right? I was so happy they turned out! Speaking of happy, I'm doing the #100HappyDays along with Martissa. This is #day2 of my challenge. Follow my whole journey on Twitter!
Who else would like to join us on a journey to happier days?
From liking Burberry trench coats to grungy choker necklaces paired with dark red lipstick, or pink fuzzy sweaters to a monochrome look, I have multiple styles. So I decided to start frequent posts about different styles I like. This week's theme: Simple.
If I were to dig out all my report cards from the 1st grade on, there would be a comment on every single one of them about how I'm shy. Teacher's might have rephrased it as "Jillian needs to speak up more in class" or "Jillian is often quiet in class" but every single comment has always seemed to scream "introvert" to me and the rest of the world. Personality tests, my own self doubt has all made me face the fact that I'm "shy".
But sometimes I think that it couldn't be farther from the truth.
When you get to know me, the real me, I can talk your ear off. And even when I'm not super close to someone, I'm not shy necessarily, I'm just not what you would call "outgoing".
Don't get me wrong: I'd love to be outgoing around everyone I meet, the second I meet them. But for me to even get to the point I'm at now has been a struggle.
I don't feel close to a lot of people. I feel distant and unconnected most of the time because I'm not and never am "the life of the party". In the past, it was hard for me to even raise my hand in class. Things have gotten easier but every day I still feel this struggle in finding my voice.
From trying to find the right words to say, to not knowing how to say something: I feel incapable of putting myself out there to people who probably won't listen. Because I remember how it felt to not be auditorily understood as a child. From day one of toddler babble to the progression of a 2nd grade still having some severe speech problems, I was already misunderstood in the simplest way. Aggravatingly, I graduated speech therapy at the end of 2nd grade. And although it was the end of speech therapy forever, my impediment still resonates deeply with me.
Even today I've heard people's comments on how I read aloud in class, or even if I stutter or say the wrong thing when I talk. Of course, not everyone is like this, but occasionally I get word of it. The thing is: I don't need to hear it from them, because I already know it. I'm working on it and embracing it because that's about all I can do.
Just because I'm quiet, or I don't have much to say, doesn't mean I'm not alive. I have a mind and it works as well as anyone's. And I speak it when I know it's important. I don't waste people's time with petty ideas or stories.
When I played the part of Helen Keller in "The Miracle Worker", I felt connected to her story. I felt a deep appreciation for her. Because even thought she was blind, deaf, and mute, she made her mark on this world. So even though I feel held back by my voice sometimes, in reality there is nothing that can stop me.
People might tell me "I can't" do something but I'm sure people told Helen that too. She had so many setbacks but she is 100 times more intelligent than I'll ever be.
I'm not sure if I'll ever not be "quiet" at times because that's who I am. I have to know you're listening, because if you're not, I'm not wasting my breath: plain and simple.
But inside me, I am not shy or quiet. I have a mind racing with thoughts, but who's listening? A few people I know... and who I appreciate so much... but who else?
I'm just a book that hasn't been opened by a lot of people. It's easy, all you have to do is invest time into reading it. (Wow, what a shitty analogy).
I keep getting deep and sentimental about life. I was going to apologize for that but hey, this is who I am and I can't/won't change myself.
Today I'm going to be talking about my very good friend Martissa. She has recently started her own blog and YouTube channel called Tissa Talks. There, she will be posting and vlogging about her thoughts/opinions, fashion, art, her poetry, you name it! Watch her introduction video to find out more about Martissa!
She and I have had some many fun times this summer , one being going to the art fair! Check out her vlog on it here! I'm going to miss her so much when she goes off to college, but I know that we'll always be blogging besties. To keep up with Martissa's blog, follow her on BlogLovin'. She's just starting out so I'm sure she would love any comments or feedback you can give.
Martissa has taught me so much about the world; she's truly one-of-a-kind. Love ya girly! <3